“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
– Jeremiah 29:11
Before I got pregnant with my son, I found myself constantly searching for fulfillment in things that never left me completely satisfied. I was fixated on making sure I was pretty enough, skinny enough and was up-to-date with my style choices and cared entirely too much about what other people thought of me. I thought that if I could be more like the girls I saw on social media, I would be happy. Little did I know, the path I was on that I thought was making me happy was actually destroying me from the inside out. I was so caught up in this superficial lifestyle that I completely lost sight of who I REALLY am.
Once I got pregnant with Jhett, my whole life changed. I’m going to be completely honest here — I was not a happy camper when I first found out I was pregnant. I have always been the girl that likes to take control. I cannot stand not being in control of things and I felt like my whole life was about to be turned upside down… and it was, but for the absolute BEST! I wasn’t excited simply because it was very unexpected. I had a plan for my life and that plan was now all messed up! I wanted to be married, have a college degree, a stable profession and own my own home FIRST. Because that’s what makes people happy and successful, right!? Well, God had other plans in mind.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was a Junior in college. I still had 3 more semesters to go and was ready to drop out the minute I saw the “+” sign. I was living at home at the time and thought I was going to have to drop out of school and get a full-time job at a factory or somewhere that paid decent. I was so fearful and anxious that I completely overlooked the fact that God blessed me with a child… literally, the BIGGEST blessing in the entire world. Thinking back on that moment makes me realize just how incredible our Lord is.
So, let me just tell you just how amazing our God is. As time went on, things started coming together beautifully. I started seeking God for guidance and understanding. I spent quality time alone with Him, which I hadn’t done in a long time. I started getting excited about being pregnant and embracing every second of it. Jarrod was extremely supportive and was willing to do whatever it took for me to finish school. We ended up finding a great place to live together and things just got better from there (with a few minor hiccups of course). Jarrod started his own business, which had been his dream for a very long time. Both of our families were so supportive and helped us A TON. I graduated with my Bachelor’s Degree, which I never thought in a million years would actually happen. And I gave birth to my perfect, beautiful baby boy. I know this is cliche, but my life was forever changed from the minute I held him in my arms.
Thinking back on that moment makes me tear up. All the momma’s out there know exactly what I’m talking about. It is truly indescribable. Bringing a human life into this world and calling him MY son was such incredible feeling. I had no idea what kind of mother I was going to be. I had always dreamed about the day when I would have my own family and children. I never thought that I would ever have the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom, but by the grace of God and the dedication of my hard-working boyfriend, here I am! If it wasn’t for Jarrod and the sacrifices he has been willing to make, I would not be able to spend near the amount of time with Jhett as I am now. I feel extremely blessed to have been given such an incredible partner/father for my son. He puts Jhett and I before himself every single day.
Now, I can honestly say I am genuinely happy. Of course there are days when I feel stressed out or just blah. Things aren’t always perfect. Scratch that – they’re NEVER perfect. But that’s life. I’ve learned that true happiness is found in ordinary, everyday moments. I now find happiness in Jhett’s little quirks or a friendly smile from a stranger at the grocery store. I rarely ever wear makeup and some days I don’t even change out of my pajamas because I’m too busy cleaning and taking care of my wild toddler. But I’ve found a true joy in a journey that I had so much fear and anxiety about. Trusting God and giving him full control of my life was the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m still learning and facing challenges everyday but this is the most fulfilling journey yet and I am thrilled for what’s to come!
“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that really isn’t you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”
When you’re thrown a curve ball in life and think that there’s no way things are going to work out, IT WILL. Trust in God. He has a plan for every single person’s life and His plan for our lives is far better than any of us could ever imagine.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
– Proverbs 3:5-6